Thursday, November 26, 2009
septic 12:12 AM
it's great that there's a break now till monday, then A level's will be officially over.
not feeling great now though.
the bite on my leg got infected, it burst in the morning with puss oozing out along with lots of blood. cleaned it, and now at the end of the day it's turned
black, meaning it's probably gone septic- i.e, it could have poison in it.
i'm really freaking out, going to the docs first thing tmrw morning. don't know what stupid bug would bite me so many times (4 to 5 times!) and have all it's bites infected. urgh....
:(
Friday, October 09, 2009
don't give up, i haven't given up on you 8:40 PM
If you're a J2, i just wanna tell you:
Don't give up! A levels is a pain, but when it feels all hopeless and when you feel like throwing in the towel, don't forget that there are so many people believing in you, even if you don't. our teachers, our friends, our classmates, our cca mates, our family... and God as well. they're all in it for you and willing to push you on when you give up. so just hang in there, and bear with the last 2 months. our batches of seniors went through this, and so can we. we've prepared 18 months already for our A's. so let's not let this opportunity and effort go to waste :) J-I-A-Y-O-U!!! :D
Sunday, September 27, 2009
pre-A levels 11:31 AM
we have now lapsed from the post-prelim to pre-A level period. this means no more playing and we'd better start hitting the books.
my last dose of fun was going to the f1 walkabout with victor, my jie and my bro :) though i mostly walked around with victor. got ourselves tattoos! and caught Ozomatly!!! they're this awesome band that fuses latin, hiphop, samba and rock and it sounds amazing :) plus they got the crowd there quite high and almost everyone starting dancing :) there was this bunch of 5 muts (don't know how to spell), but they're not the usual skinny jeans and outrageous kind. they're funny and just having a good time :) they're really cute with their synchronized dance moves and antics. it kinda spread into the people around them, like the rich ang moh kids.
made me think, would you actually go overseas to catch a F1 race or the fringe activities? these ang moh kids certainly do. probably their parents forked out all the money for them. then i wonder, is it even a possibility for us singapore students stuck in the A level education system to think of having long breaks like theirs to go overseas like them because we have holiday homework. so well... i don't know. lots of pros and cons being in the singapore education system, russell and i concluded. academic excellence comes with the price of being stifled.
so well, feeling pressurized by the people who are studying around me. like alexia, audrey... it's a slap on the face to get back to reality. don't get conceited, my dear. you've learnt your lesson twice already.
third time's the charm?
Saturday, September 19, 2009
♥ 1:09 AM
After all that we've been through so far,
may we learn well lessons of the heart.
After all that has been said,
may God be our guide through whatever's ahead. ♥
post prelims is a feeling that takes a while to kick in. it's been tough studying for a month non-stop, and this continues till As. burn out? hopefully not, lest my O level tragedy repeats itself. i say once again, bt2 was a blessing and prelims could turn out to be a contrast to bt2's results. i just gave it my best shot, and hope God catalyses a miracle out of what i gave to Him.
one thing i learnt is to give and take. studying is quite a selfish activity. you could study with friends and all, but discussions and consultations form only a fraction of time you spend by yourself revising. and so it's often lonely. but do we sacrifice our relationships with the people around us just so we can study? hopefully, (in my case, obviously) no. so it's a matter of give and take.
will you still be patient when there's no more time? will you still love when the world doesn't care? will you listen when you don't seem to be heard?
so to what extent is our sacrifice? in this time of studying and preparation, our temperment may be reduced to a short fuse. so i guess it's time we all become a little more sensitive to our friends, family and loved ones.
and on a higher level, what is the condition of our relationship with God? all relationships take time, quality time in fact, to deepen and strengthen, and our relationship with God is no different, though often times, we do take it for granted.
How many times have we broken God's heart, when He is willing to listen, but we were just too busy? if this can break a normal human's heart, how much more can it break the heart of our Creator who sacrificed His son for us?
to end off on a postive note, i'm really thankful that God has been providing me help, comfort and peace throughout this crazily stressful exam period. also, for sending me people who have cheered my days that were dull and gloomy. for sending love in the most varied forms, like smses, hugs and milo, to show that He still cares, and that i'm surrounded by people who love me. :) i hope i've loved you guys equally, if not, maybe more than you have loved me because you guys deserve it. ♥
Saturday, September 12, 2009
good to be online. 12:35 AM
going online just defeats the purpose of studying for prelimes. hahaha...
i've come to realise that s21's much closer a class now :) will miss this class a lot... even for all the annoying traits, quirky habits and stuff, it's really pleasant going through JC life and A level horrors with you guys. can't imagine being in another class that lacks just any one of you guys... it'll be so different, as like how russell left our class. it's different. and so, for each unique contribution you've put into making s21 for what it is, thanks guys :) love you all :)
now study for prelims! :)
btw, i'm dreaming of dancing again....
Monday, August 31, 2009
prelim time :S 4:34 PM
stealing some time to breathe some life here, before attempting AJC physics paper 2... of which mr sia didn't load the answers to. and i dont wanna bother him again, cos it's teacher's day.
gill's having a blast in london! aww man, feeling so happy for her :) i bet she's never coming back to singapore, where everything here is pseudo-arts. london's the real deal. so yeah, wishing to join her but A's is stopping me -.- unless i get into LSE, which is quite.... impossible...
everyone's having the studying vibes... forced oscillations! i'm in resonance.
so yeah, mum, poh in boston, gill in london, just the idea of travelling lightens up the prelim mood :)
goodbye!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Near to the Heart of God 11:52 PM
i'm playing for 5pm Service tomorrow again :) this time i'm playing 3 beautiful hymns: Near to the Heart of God, Great is Thy Faithfulness and This is My Father's World. it's so classic, so haunting... truly the sanctuary is aptly named. it's so peaceful in church. just going back to the white hall with ornate stained glass and parallel wooden pews lining the aisles... serenity at it's finest. actually, i wouldn't mind dying in church. my heart would be at peace in there :) a bit morbid. huh.
i'm prepared for next thursday's and friday's death sentence. will, not literally of course. but it's a sacrifice. i'm going to risk a flop performance at chapel and a ruined image of myself and my dancers who would be shamed by my choreography. not that my choreography's out to shame them, no way! but if the audience is unmoved...
oh Lord i pray it will go well and it will be well received. :(
CMW's dance practices is a new experience for me.
firstly, cos it's my first time choreographing.
secondly, it's Christian in nature. i can
feel God moving me. it's not like some force field or i'm like some puppet. but He moves my heart :) it's really amazing...
thirdly, having to teach and correct my own steps. the autonomy gave me a new sense of power i've never felt before. :) power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. NOPE! i refute.
lastly, patience. when my dancers cannot do what i want them to do, i have the choice to holler at them, teach them, or change the step. i really really REALLY admire the patience of Zaki and Ms Wee and Ms McCulley now. especially if they teach little kids.
as for prelim studying... the pressure to perform is actually quite high. there's only so much i can do... maybe God will perform another miracle on me, like for BT2. nonetheless, i'm studying :)
i'm actually afraid that i will disappoint myself. in fact, i'm not even thinking of my aim for prelims... okay, so maybe now i'm thinking of pushing Math and Econs/Physics to an A grade. at least get 1 more A on my list... apart from my pathetic H1 chem...
studies aside, on saturdays we're learning grade 8 ballet syllabus :) quite a jump from grade 7 i think. but today we did non-syllabus work :D there was this really fast small jumps exercise that has a really snappy double pirouette at the end and i could hit almost all of them! it was so fun and so fast, my balance just fell into place :) i love ballet so much! :)
i feel so bad that chmel mentioned me in her blog the second time and i've not mentioned her in mine. Chmel, you're a really cute and capable girl, you know? you keep striving for many different things, but what you don't know, is that you're really blessed :) it's a virtue that you keep looking for more, that keeps you motivated, but i guess we must take time to smell the roses :) i really thank you for being my friend. you're really rational and there are so many things that you've enlightened me on :) and you're so down to earth. you're true to yourself and you hide nothing. i know for sure the Chmel i know is the real Chmel :) love you babes!
